from the BES manager pull up the user account and go to PIM Sync
Scroll all the way to the bottom and in there select the address book
on the right hand side where it says Location server - put the users mail server and where it says Location relative path - place the location for the users mail file. Once you have that in place. you should be able to sync wireless.. Y are you u using the desktop manager.. you can provision the unit wireless with 4.0 I don't user the desktop manager at users desk. One less piece of software i have to support. from the users lotus notes you should be able to go ACTIONS AND THEN SYNC ADDRESS BOOK. this option will sync your address book wirelessly...
let me know if that works@