So, after two tickets with BB, here is their answer - basically they are just NOW deciding synching between multiple PCs is not
KB#18693 View Document Best practices for synchronizing your BlackBerry smartphone with multiple computers
Doc ID : KB18693
Last Modified : 06-29-2009
Document Type : Support
The synchronization component of BlackBerry Desktop Manager may display troubled behavior when synchronizing with multiple computers due to synchronization histories not being static between the different computers. Due to these conditions two-way synchronization is only supported with a single computer.
If you perform two-way synchronizations with multiple computers, it is possible that the changes may not be detected. If the configuration settings are then reset, duplication may occur depending on the changes that have been made to the information that was synchronized.
When requiring information to be distributed among multiple computers with a BlackBerry smartphone as the center point, the best practice is to choose a single computer to perform two-way synchronizations with and perform one-way synchronizations from the BlackBerry smartphone to all other computers to import the information from the BlackBerry smartphone to the computer.