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Old 10-12-2009, 06:16 AM   #27 (permalink)
ifonline
Magic Bananas
 
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Braselton, Georgia
Model: iP4S
OS: 5.1
Carrier: Verizon
Posts: 2,350
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmoothOperator View Post
I own both devices (Bold and 3GS), and periodically I switch devices when I'm in a business mode or leisure mode. As we know, the iPhone kicks ass with its Safari browser, but nothing beats a physical keyboard along with a replaceable battery and MicroSD memory card.
First, I have to start out by saying that at this point, I was with you. With you like sitting down with you to lunch and talking about old times. With you like someone calls you a dork for having an iPhone and you reply "no I'm not" and I hear the hurt in your voice so I stand up and beat that person that called you a dork with the chair I was just sitting in until they start crying like a child and I then say "yeah, he's not a dork." That kind of with you. At least I was right up until I read the rest of your post.

Quote:
Why I like the iPhone: Safari browser, and the fact that chicks are more impressed with the iPhone when I go out clubbing with it.
I came to the conclusion that "chicks" that are more impressed with what phone I carry than they are interested in me as a person aren't worth my time. Why? Well, simply put, because I'm older than 12.

Quote:
Chance of getting laid is easier when you sport the iPhone because chicks dig it more.
I am truly, truly sorry that you need a phone to have sexual relations with a woman. There must be something really wrong with you, and I can only imagine that the scenario plays out like this:

SmoothOperator silently approaches a small cluster of women in the corner of the bar that have been watching his every move, confidently tugging on the collar of his pastel blue Members Only jacket to ensure that it is standing up at just the right height that says "I'm cool."

As his figure emerges from the dark, smokey depths of the dance floor bathed in multi-colored lights gleaming from the disco ball overhead, it is then that Leslie Wannamaker, the unofficial pack leader of the three friends that have been watching SmoothOperator walk across the dance floor, realizes just what a mistake they have made. She can see clearly now that they have wasted their time. Not so much because of the Members Only jacket, and not so much because of the greased back hair. No, in reality it's because of the pencil thin mustache, the pimply face, and the pocket protector that seem to take center stage with SmoothOperator.

It was made worse for her when he said through a slimy smile "hello, ladies" with saliva dripping from his lips. She quickly came to the conclusion that looking at SmoothOperator was like looking at a horrific train wreck. She wanted to look away, but her morbid curiosity couldn't let her stop. She only hoped that the others felt the same way so at least she wouldn't seem so strange.

And it was then that it happened: SmoothOperator reached into his pants (strangely enough, not into a pocket but right in the center of his pants, and it was never determined if he was reaching over or under his underwear) and whipped out his iPhone. The music immediately stopped, the fog machine quit belching out fog, and everyone gasped at the exact same time.

Leslie didn't even notice the overwhelming silence or the acid burning in her stomach when she involuntarily looked SmoothOperator in the eyes and blurted out "I must have sex with you!"


Quote:
Why I like the Blackberry: easy to switch the MicroSD memory card. You can put in all the nature pictures, romance flicks and songs in the device when you are with your girlfriend, and while she's away you can put in the MicroSD memory card loaded with nasty MP4 pornos for fun. Try doing that in your iPhone, buddy!
So let me get this straight: you have a girlfriend that you patronize by watching movies that she wants to watch, and you go out on the weekends to pick up "chicks" with your iPhone, and wrap that all up with watching porno (presumably because you don't actually get anything from the girlfriend or the tramps you pick up on the weekend, so your only recourse is to watch professionals have sex)? You are a classic sleaze-ball. Please tell me you have a leisure suit because that would just make my morning so much more wonderful. I mean, your post has been funny, but to know you have a leisure suit would be even more hilarious.

So if nothing else, thank you for filling my morning with a good laugh. Really. I mean it. Thanks. I would never be sarcastic with you.
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Ian

Semper Fi 3/2/2
"Wow" is now overused. Therefore, I will use "Magic bananas" instead.

Last edited by ifonline : 10-12-2009 at 06:22 AM.
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