So sorry... what a bummer to put in so much work and yet still no joy. Trust me, been there and done that. I would suggest calling RIM tech support. You never know, they may be able to suggest something.
I do understand that not syncing with Outlook is a total deal breaker. I think the current smartphone players underestimate the value of the software that syncs the phone. I am purchasing Windows Phone 7 Monday (the supposed release date.) I am hoping for that perfect Outlook sync... have no idea how well it will go - from my own personal experience - there is something wrong with every smartphone out there (which includes their syncing software.)
Which keeps me searching for "my" version the perfect Smartphone. Who knows, maybe Monday will be my day.
But do try calling RIM...