So to clarify you believe that DM is "connecting" but nothing happens?

It sounds like you have not setup your DM correclty. You need to setup DM to synchronize with your program (i.e. Outlook, Lotus Notes, etc) where your data is located (i.e. Contacts, Calendar, etc). Once you have done that you can setup DM to automatically reconcile once connected (i.e. BT or by USB) or manually synch once you tell DM to synch.