Welcome to the forums...In the past I've used the passcode 0000 and it seems to work for the 8100. Just make sure you are holding down the alt key. The address book transfer is not an option for the Pearl anyway so don't bother. The only address book transfer is from the Pearl to a bluetooth headset device like a car that supports address books.
You can, however, transfer media files (pics and small mp3's, etc.) that way. Just remember when transferring to the BB you have to go to the folder you want to receive a file to (pictures/ringtones/etc) and select receive via bluetooth then send from the other phone. You have to do this for each file. It's a little cumbersome but works.