That is not possible to do it wirelessly. If you want you have to use the Desktop manager using local mode.
For Office Mode, It is configured on the BES Manager to look at your Mail File / Personal Address Book Server Copy and your changes on Notes Office Mode knows its connected to the server and your local copy can replicate.
OR you can configure a Pass thru server so you can connect to the Mail Server and notes environment using a basic internet connection without VPN
OR USE VPN and use notes office mode.