Is there an IM software that will notify me of an IM when the app is not open? Like when you use the BBM?

I've tried Palringo and it's a pain. Have to keep the app open on the phone to see if you are getting messages.

A buddy of mine got rid of his BB and got an iphone and we are trying to figure out a good IM soultion. We liked the way BBM worked, but having a hard time finding something similar.

BBM works because the app is always open in the background; difference being you don't have to open it. It is already there - whether you use it or not. Not sure if there are IM products that can auto open.

Well with Palringo it was always connected, but if you got an IM while on the desktop there would be no kind of notifer on the desktop icon. Like you would with BBM. Seems like all the ones I have found you have to keep the app open actively on the display to know a new msg has arrived.

Wirelessly posted (BlackBerry Curve 8900)

Like NJ said, BBM is always running. Some apps don't have a home screen notification icon. BeeJiveIM is only that has a desktop notification icon. It does have to be running in order for you to get the home screen notification. But that is just like BBM running in the background.

Also, the AIM, Yahoo Messenger, WLM, and Google Talk applications have notifications when they're running in the background as well.

Tray instango, its a good one, and has a free version!!!

IM+ for BlackBerry is just awesome!

Although it's hard to beat BBM, my first instinct would be to go to SMS. However, if SMS isn't an option and/or isn't convenient, I would go with either BeeJive (JiveTalk) or IM+.

I own both, and although in the past BeeJive/JiveTalk had an edge, I feel that IM+ has taken the lead; especially with push mode and now (in beta) Skype Chat. However, you can't really go wrong with either one IMO. There are other free solutions but IMO, these two are hard to beat.