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ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 04:45 PM
Hi all, my daughter has a blackberry pearl 8100 series. I am concerned about some texting she has done. Is there a way that I can upload the text history to my computer to print? Thanks so much from a concerned parent.

JSanders
02-11-2009, 04:49 PM
Nope, you can't.

You can, however, allow her to only use the BB to text while in the public area of your home, not in the bedroom or in private. You can also not pay her bill.

While what you need is not possible, neither do we condone spying. For all we know, you are the daughter wanting to read Mom's BB.

You know what I mean?

dc/dc
02-11-2009, 04:53 PM
Nope, you can't.

You can, however, allow her to only use the BB to text while in the public area of your home, not in the bedroom or in private. You can also not pay her bill.

While what you need is not possible, neither do we condone spying. For all we know, you are the daughter wanting to read Mom's BB.

You know what I mean?

Well put.

If you're concerned about your daughter's texting, be a good parent and talk to her about it.

Shaun
02-11-2009, 04:54 PM
Since you are on ATT, I would suggest you enable SmartLimits on your daughter's phone. Its a great feature for $5 per month.

JSanders
02-11-2009, 04:56 PM
be a good parent and talk to her about it.

That's the key.

How do I know? I have been there. I have one older than the original poster.

ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 05:04 PM
Thanks everyone for such prompt replies. Yes, I certainly have talked with her about her texting habits, and the phone now stays with me after 9 pm. I just hoped there was a way to easier share with my husband a timeline of her texting. I have a blackjack, so I'm just not famiar with the BB.

ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 05:06 PM
Shaun, what is "Smart Limits"?

betterlate1
02-11-2009, 05:16 PM
I am yet more conservative than JS...I look at the data log of every bill. I don't have access to the actual text but I know the numbers they're going to. As long as I pay the bill you have no reason to question why.

Shaun
02-11-2009, 05:34 PM
Shaun, what is "Smart Limits"?

SmartLimits is a feature that AT&T offers that lets a parent set the schedule that the phone can be operational, set text and call limits per billing cycle, and even specify the numbers that the phone can send and receive phone calls and texts.

A more detailed description is available in the AT&T OAM (https://www.wireless.att.com/olam/loginAction.olamexecute?goto=%2Folam%2FgotoLogin.olamexecute).

sid_kid
02-11-2009, 05:42 PM
i dont condone spying either but if you are paying the bill it is definitely your right to know what is going on with said device...you may want to try and google "text message monitor" and see what pops up...just make sure that if you are going to use any services to "monitor" your childs texting, make her aware of it. sometimes just knowing that you are being watched is enough incentive to do the right thing...

dc/dc
02-11-2009, 05:51 PM
i dont condone spying either but if you are paying the bill it is definitely your right to know what is going on with said device...you may want to try and google "text message monitor" and see what pops up...just make sure that if you are going to use any services to "monitor" your childs texting, make her aware of it. sometimes just knowing that you are being watched is enough incentive to do the right thing...

As we say in business, it keeps honest people honest.

kjjb0204
02-11-2009, 05:52 PM
Hate to say it, but if you're determined to find a way to log her texts, Windows Mobile and Symbian OS devices have software available to record everything that's done on the device. Nothing out there for a BB that I know of.

JSanders
02-11-2009, 05:56 PM
I am yet more conservative than JS...I look at the data log of every bill. I don't have access to the actual text but I know the numbers they're going to. As long as I pay the bill you have no reason to question why.

Exactly ^^ what I did in my case.

kjjb0204
02-11-2009, 06:05 PM
All I can say is I'm glad I'm not experiencing this yet with my kids (both under 7). No cell, no bb. Not sure how I will compromise between trust, privacy and legitimate concern.

wootwho
02-11-2009, 06:22 PM
LovesHerHusband - I just got my BB a few weeks ago so I can't talk to your text log question.

I sympathize! While WE are paying our 15 year old daughter's cell bill we will read her texts from time to time. I set the ground rules 3 or 4 years ago when I allowed her to her first IM account. I told her that nothing she said was private and that we could look over her shoulder at any time. (Then I learned how to set up the chat log). The same goes with the cell.

Am I spying? I don't think so. It's more like keeping tabs. As parents of fifteen year olds know, they are not especially talkative individuals when it comes to their social lives.

Do I trust my daughter? Yes I do. Do I read chats/text every day? No, just occasionally to get a sense of what's going on.

But I can say that you DO find out what the friends are up to. Ex. Last year a boy (friend) she was IM'ing cut/pasted a chat where her BEST friend told this boy the she (best friend) was sitting there in her bra and panties and she went on to mention the undergarments a few more times. Clearly this is not what you want your kid to be IM'ing. So, the best friend's judgement dropped some points on my scale.

IMHO - Just because the technology is available does NOT give the child a right to 100% privacy from the bill payer (I mean parent!) Nor does it mean that you MUST trust your child. Or that you are a HORRIBLE LOW-LIFE SNEAKY parent for wanting to know what your child is up to. Sorry folks, talking does not always work. If your child is open and tells you things, great, but that's not the norm.

To me it's like the "old days" where there was one phone in the house and your parents could hear when you were on the phone. Do you think they didn't listen occasionally?

I have no problem keeping a pulse on what is going on with my daughter and her friends. Frankly I'd feel like a HORRIBLE parent for NOT using whatever means is available to gauge what they are up to.

BTW did you ever notice how its the parents who trust their kids and give them total freedom who are shocked when they learn what their kid is REALLY doing?

Sorry folks, I am not going to find out my daughter is into drinking, drugs, sex after its a major problem.

LovesHusband - good luck finding out what you are after and I (for one) think you are better parent for trying to do so.

JSanders
02-11-2009, 06:46 PM
wootwho, I think you misread some of these posts.

I agree 101% percent with what you are saying--as it regards family matters. For me, it's "been there done that". I have a 22 yo and and 8 yo. I knew exactly what was going on, my son knew it and from time to time we talked about it when I recognized something objectionable.

My point in the first post is this... which you and some in this thread have missed, is that WE don't know who "lovesherhusband" is. This could be the daughter spying on Mom, the wife spying on the husband, or who knows who it is. Could be your wife.

And believe me, we see these posts everyday in this forum. Hers/His is not the first, and won't be the last.
--"I need to see who my wife is texting",
--"I found this BB and I want to break the password so I can return it to the owner",
--"I think my husband is having an affair"
--"How can I see my employees text messages"
--"I know my boss is having an affair and his wife wants to know"

Many of us with a few more posts than one see this daily. So there "could be" more to this than Mom keeping tabs on little Jessica. You and I just don't know.

And you know what, I'll be a bit more honest here... there is a way to do EXACTLY what she needs. I know how. And it is not difficult.

Will I tell my best friend which I know personally and understand the real need? Yea.
Will I tell a complete stranger here, unknown to any of us what the true intentions are? No.

Caramelita
02-11-2009, 06:56 PM
Since you are on ATT, I would suggest you enable SmartLimits on your daughter's phone. Its a great feature for $5 per month.

thats a good idea...

tennlotteryman
02-11-2009, 07:31 PM
just contacted mymobilewatchdog who ill let post info about there program and all that is needed.

Monitor Your Child's Cell Phone, Text Messages and Email With Alerts to Unauthorized Activity with RADAR, My Mobile Watchdog (http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/)

Here is some info off the web site.

Once you have activated your child's My Mobile Watchdog Phone, you can log into your web application and see all of your child's contacts. You can then talk with your child and determine for yourself who will be:

From Trusted,Suspicious or Unapproved.

When a Suspicious or Unauthorized person tries to call, text, or email your child, it is routed through the My Mobile Watchdog Data Center. Notifications are then sent to all persons you have established from your web application. From your My Mobile Watchdog web application or My Mobile Watchdog Phone, you will be able to see all suspicious activity along with full content (including images). You can also print out
reports to pass on to law enforcement or school officials.

How will they know?

A message appears on the phone about every 24 hours or whenever the phone is turned on. It lets them know that My Mobile Watchdog is monitoring and protecting their phone. They push any button to agree and continue phone use.

Can my child remove the software from their phone?

While no software is completely immune from removal, My Mobile Watchdog will let you know if your child has removed the software from their phone. If your child deletes it, they will be unable to reactivate their phone without your security code.

zduchene
02-11-2009, 07:47 PM
If you are on a BES or even the free BPS you can set it to log all text messages and phone calls. Most business do this I think to protect themselves.

mauidan
02-11-2009, 07:54 PM
Mymobilewatchdog.com

ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 08:36 PM
WOW!!!! I never thought or meant to generate such passion re: my question. Thanks to everyone who understands how difficult and challenging it is to raise teenagers. I learned a lot from reading all the posts, some of which were not in favor or belief of my desire to know what my daughter is doing, but I will continue to respectfully watch over my daughter, knowing full well that it is my job to keep her safe and alive. As I'm sure we can all agree, that in today's world, is harder than ever.

dc/dc
02-11-2009, 09:29 PM
wootwho, I think you misread some of these posts.

I agree 101% percent with what you are saying--as it regards family matters. For me, it's "been there done that". I have a 22 yo and and 8 yo. I knew exactly what was going on, my son knew it and from time to time we talked about it when I recognized something objectionable.

My point in the first post is this... which you and some in this thread have missed, is that WE don't know who "lovesherhusband" is. This could be the daughter spying on Mom, the wife spying on the husband, or who knows who it is. Could be your wife.

And believe me, we see these posts everyday in this forum. Hers/His is not the first, and won't be the last.
--"I need to see who my wife is texting",
--"I found this BB and I want to break the password so I can return it to the owner",
--"I think my husband is having an affair"
--"How can I see my employees text messages"
--"I know my boss is having an affair and his wife wants to know"

Many of us with a few more posts than one see this daily. So there "could be" more to this than Mom keeping tabs on little Jessica. You and I just don't know.

And you know what, I'll be a bit more honest here... there is a way to do EXACTLY what she needs. I know how. And it is not difficult.

Will I tell my best friend which I know personally and understand the real need? Yea.
Will I tell a complete stranger here, unknown to any of us what the true intentions are? No.

Effing right.

tennlotteryman
02-11-2009, 09:48 PM
My point in the first post is this... which you and some in this thread have missed, is that WE don't know who "lovesherhusband" is. This could be the daughter spying on Mom, the wife spying on the husband, or who knows who it is. Could be your wife.

And believe me, we see these posts everyday in this forum. Hers/His is not the first, and won't be the last.
--"I need to see who my wife is texting",
--"I found this BB and I want to break the password so I can return it to the owner",
--"I think my husband is having an affair"
--"How can I see my employees text messages"
--"I know my boss is having an affair and his wife wants to know"



I don't think anyone has missed your point at all but we are not talking about any of the following or close to them,
"I need to see who my wife is texting",
"I need to see who my wife is texting",
"I found this BB and I want to break the password so I can return it to the owner",
"I think my husband is having an affair"
"How can I see my employees text messages"
"I know my boss is having an affair and his wife wants to know"

In fact we are talking about keeping a child safe and when it comes to keeping children safe I'd much rather error on the side of cation than to make no error at all. Need more reason's why to error just look at the following web page.

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (http://www.ncmec.org/)

wootwho
02-11-2009, 10:16 PM
Many of us with a few more posts than one see this daily. So there "could be" more to this than Mom keeping tabs on little Jessica. You and I just don't know.


Yup I figured I'd get the "who are you you have no posts" :smile:. I've had my Storm for nearly three weeks. I've spent an will-never-admit-it's-too-embarrassing number of hours glued to 2 other major BB sites trying to learn how to use it. Not that I doubt you, but I have yet to run into this question on either of those sites. This afternoon I signed up for Blackberry group in Yahoo reader and this forum & post popped up. Since the topic of teenage "privacy" is a common discussion topic among my friends and coworkers this question and the responses caught my attention.

I understand what you are saying and agree that you don't know know who anyone is, however you could have been up front and said there IS a way but I can't share for these reasons, instead of "we don't condone spying" and "be a good parent and talk to your kid" which is what jumped out at me.

Ummm I'm pretty sure I didn't misread the first few responses.....

ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 10:28 PM
my goodness, while I appreciate the thoughtfullness, that paranoia will kill you some day. I do love my husband, I do have two teenage daughters, and I do run a rape crisis center for a living, and I am all too aware of the dangers of being a teenager with an uninvolved parent. Please choose to err on the side of caution...you might save a life....

leifandmindy
02-11-2009, 10:44 PM
What does BB Unite do? Would that monitor some of that?

ilovemyhusband217
02-11-2009, 10:57 PM
What is BB Unite?

JDWallace
02-11-2009, 11:01 PM
......I have a 22 yo and and 8 yo.....

JS is it good to know that no matter how old you are, you still are making babies! Damn that is a big gap! :razz::smile: Sorry I had to break the ice. Anyways I agree with your full statement all the way. Like previously stated "F'n Right"

tennlotteryman
02-11-2009, 11:04 PM
for more on bb unite please see this thread but I would have to read up on it before I can advise on it.


http://www.blackberryforums.com/blackberry-unite/129038-warning-about-bb-unite.html

JSanders
02-11-2009, 11:36 PM
Yup I figured I'd get the "who are you you have no posts" ... Not that I doubt you, but I have yet to run into this question on either of those sites.

Walk a day in my shoes, and you will. The raging husband who is threatening his wife because she is hiding her texts... those posts are here, too. You want us to just drop them some easy answer so they find out the wife is cheating on them? Nah. I don't condone violence, either, and I'm not giving the nutjobs the ammunition they want. And many of those posts DO begin innocently, just as this one. Call me jaded. Cautious. Whatever.

that paranoia will kill you some day.
Please choose to err on the side of caution...you might save a life....

I think I did err on the side of caution. Read my first post above. VERY cautious, I was. Oh, and look, we know more now about the situation from the original poster.

@<hidden>, this has nothing to do with not believing you, I just don't know you.
I answer questions all day to users. Yours is just different. We were discussing this same subject the other day about how many more questions we get here now from new users asking questions just as yours. And believe me, 90% of them are not as innocent as yours.

Good luck with your daughter. You're a good Mom, otherwise you wouldn't care.

jsconyers
02-11-2009, 11:41 PM
Just to clarify what JSanders stated, here are some posts related to people wanting to spy on their significant others. I have seen this way to often myself.

http://www.blackberryforums.com/general-blackberry-discussion/175403-spy-my-wife.html

http://www.blackberryforums.com/general-blackberry-discussion/172911-blackberry-spying.html

http://www.blackberryforums.com/general-blackberry-discussion/150580-wife-hacking-my-bberry.html

tennlotteryman
02-11-2009, 11:51 PM
ummmm well i don't think I would use the word " jaded " .... matter fact the words that come to my mind will only get me banned so I won't use them

JSanders
02-11-2009, 11:56 PM
ummmm well i don't think I would use the word " jaded " .... matter fact the words that come to my mind will only get me banned so I won't use them

Well enough, I think you just inferred them. So we know that when speechless, you stand on the side of inferring personal insults.

Great way to take this thread downhill.

daphne
02-12-2009, 12:10 AM
In regard to what JSanders is saying, the problem is on a public forum like this, anyone could register and claim to be whatever. I could be a child molester trying to befriend a young teenager on MySpace. Recently it was in the news that 90,000 registered sex offenders were removed from MySpace in a few months.

Now, this is not MySpace, but I could register here and portray myself as a loving parent when in reality I might be a perv trying to find out how to spy on a teenager I met on the internet. Anyone who is a moderator on a forum for very long can easily become jaded because of all the scammers, spammers, weirdos and nut jobs we deal with on a regular basis, including people who want to get the passwords of stolen devices, spy on their significant other for all the wrong reasons, etc., etc.

I completely understand where JSanders is coming from and I feel the same way. Regarding the OP, she comes across as very sincere, truthful and caring.

wootwho
02-12-2009, 12:32 AM
Now, this is not MySpace, but I could register here and portray myself as a loving parent when in reality I might be a perv trying to find out how to spy on a teenager I met on the internet.

Ok I get that there may be concerns with answering the OP's question. And I get that there are serious issues caused by the anonymous nature of the internet. However this is a Blackberry forum and I honestly don't get the connection of perv/teenager angle and Blackberry. Maybe I'm tired ... but how does mother/wife/husband/boss wanting to read texts on a child/husband/wife/employee phone connect to pervs?

....OTHER THAN.... that is EXACTLY why the OP wants to check her daughters phone, right?

If the perv had a teenagers phone you know he doesn't give a sh*t about who they text! He's got other priorities, no?

Also people seem overly angry and uptight over here. Seriously, what is with "f'ing right"? C'mon kids.... how old are we?

JSanders
02-12-2009, 12:38 AM
It does take age to determine maturity.

Wootwho, there's more here than meets the eye. For instance, one of the users posting in this thread very concerned about child safety and exploited children, only recently was directing users here to good p0rn sites viewable on the Blackberry. Interesting, huh?

wootwho
02-12-2009, 12:48 AM
It does take age to determine maturity.

Wootwho, there's more here than meets the eye. For instance, one of the users posting in this thread very concerned about child safety and exploited children, only recently was directing users here to good p0rn sites viewable on the Blackberry. Interesting, huh?

This thread and forum has just gotten too creepy for me. I just wanted to figure out my damn Storm.

tennlotteryman
02-12-2009, 12:49 AM
It does take age to determine maturity.

Wootwho, there's more here than meets the eye. For instance, one of the users posting in this thread very concerned about child safety and exploited children, only recently was directing users here to good p0rn sites viewable on the Blackberry. Interesting, huh?

the question in this forum was about child safety yes as for the porn one yes i did offer a site but that thread was asking for porn site that work on blackberry lets not confuse the 2 to be the same further more i have not been able to log into my other screen name as you put it pm to me because you all did something to it that will not let me log into it like oh i dont know ..... banned me on it ? and now you want to do the same here because i stepped on your toes and you call us the nutjobs ? strange just strange

jsconyers
02-12-2009, 12:54 AM
Read the forum rules. Having 2 usernames is not allowed.

JSanders
02-12-2009, 12:55 AM
the question in this forum was about child safety yes as for the porn one yes i did offer a site but that thread was asking for porn site that work on blackberry lets not confuse the 2 to be the same further more i have not been able to log into my other screen name as you put it pm to me because you all did something to it that will not let me log into it like oh i dont know ..... banned me on it ? and now you want to do the same here because i stepped on your toes and you call us the nutjobs ? strange just strange

No you've not been banned here. But if you were or not, creating a second profile here is in violation of your terms of agreement. As I asked in your PM, please decide which username you prefer.

You've taken this thread WAY off topic already, I'm not letting you take it futher.

Your porn links in the other thread will also be deleted, as that is NOT allowed here. Another violation of our terms.