FYI-This is not 4.1 BES.
This sounds to me like you have go the pre-req's completed...Especially permissions.
Check page 4 for permissions, make sure you have Exchange System manager installed too. http://www.blackberry.com/knowledgec...59875&vernum=0
-also, run svrnetcn from the startj->run (on SQL) and put named pipes and tcp\ip on the enabled. Then, restart SQL. This will be for handheld configuration tool opening problems(possibly) and maybe some other issues in the future, with regards to SQL calls.
If you installed as Domain admin, 2k3 exchange denies send as/receive as for wireless calendar(while in 2k Exchange you could have both allow and denied check marked and allow would be the implied permission, this is not true in 2k3 exchange.) Also, you may have issues opening the message store(therefore the ETP message won't get picked up). You'll need to create your service account(besadmin), assign it local admin to your BES, assign exchange permissions, log on as service, log on local.
Now, instead of uninstall/reinstall-> while logged on as the account you orignally installed the BES with, export
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Research In Motion and save it somewhere. Now log on as that service account you created, import the key, switch the service to log onto the domain with that new account and restart them. ***If you have a remote SQL server make sure you give this service account permissions on SQL. If the database is created already, you'll need at least DB_Owner on the BES database.
P.S. when activating the email won't go the the BB, the process is as follows (in Over the air activation):
set password on BES, type email and password, click activate, an ETP email gets sent to the user's account, Exchange "advises" the BES to pick up the email, the BES processes it, negotiates encryption, then the slow sync occurs.
By the sounds of it you have generating an email password...this will not get to the handheld.
**Alternatively, you can use desktop manager->redirector settings->security and generate an encryption key. Then you can skip the ETP email and don't need to generate a password.