I am trying to update BES from 5.0.1 to 5.0.2 in my environment. I have a single bes server containing most of the roles a separate database server and then have a separate router install in the dmz. The installation on my main server completed successfully. The router portion however won't update because the first portion of the installation tries to contact the database, which the router doesn't have access to. Is there a way to just update the router without trying to contact the database?

This is the wrong section. Please check the BES Admin Corner.

You IP routing table is wrong. you need to allow the address used on the router thru the firewall. Try using the MAC address . You might also consider a ACL on the front end router.
Not knowing what router, OS etc your using, those are my only thoughts.

Moved to the BES Admin section.

At the very beginning of the BES setup, you must choose that you only want to install the BES router service. Then you will not be asked for the DB location.

you must to choose to UPGRADE the Blackberry Router. If this option is not available, it means that the install application is not recognizing the previous instalation.