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Old 04-18-2008, 11:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default SMS forwarding...cant trust girlfriend with her phone...

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Basically what I am asking is this: Is there any way I can have my girlfriend's text messages and/or call log forwarded to my phone or email? Alternatively, could it be automatically backed up on her phone or is there any way for me to password protect deletion of those messages so she can't go deleting things she doesn't want me to see?

I have read through the forums and understand it really isn't possible to retrieve deleted texts. I have also read about lack of free memory causing things to be deleted but in this case the deletion was very selective... I'm looking for any way at all to see all text messages and calls incoming and outgoing through her phone without her being able to delete them before she gets home from work. She will consent to this because she wants me to trust her, just doesn't want to act very trustworthy...

That's my question. The following is just back-story and me venting because I am kind of pissed right now.





My girlfriend has been pretty shady with her phone and I can't trust her. An ex sent her a text yesterday asking her to go to lunch with him. She told me she responded to him that I wasn't keen on them hanging out without me around but hasn't heard back from him yet. For some reason she thinks hanging out with a guy she has had sex with in the past is perfectly fine and that he wouldn't try anything but tells me if I disapprove she won't do it. I think all of us guys know what he wants out of it. She also tells me about how she dropped her phone earlier...

So later that day she tells me he responded that he is cool with it and understands I don't want them hanging out. I go to look at her phone to see what exactly was said (this wouldn't be the first time she wasn't being completely truthful about who she was talking to or what was said). She tries to stop me from looking at it and then I ask her to show me the conversation and what do you know, all of the messages with him have disappeared but others are still there. She acts surprised (seemed very fake) and claims it was because she dropped her phone and then tries to quickly change the subject.

However I know that messages were exchanged after the phone was dropped. I tell her to stop lying to me and she denies it but isn't very defensive about it. She talks to the guy later when I am out of the room (how convenient) and then comes and tells me he is going to read the texts out loud for me. He basically summarizes what she told me they talked about. Of course he isn't going to tell me if they talked about anything else because he knows I will find him and whoop his ass.

Again, other things have happened in the past that have made me lose trust in her. I'm not just being paranoid and I can tell when she is lying to me.

Thanks,
-Nate

Last edited by Sith_Apprentice : 04-18-2008 at 12:03 PM. Reason: language
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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time for a new g/f!!!! Doesnt sound like this one is worth the trouble.
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lraed74 View Post
time for a new g/f!!!! Doesnt sound like this one is worth the trouble.
She is... I just want to make sure I can trust her before I really commit to anything. Knowing what she is doing on her phone would really help.
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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why dont you just ask her for her phone? if you can trust her she will give it to you, if not then you cant.
welcome to the forums by the way.
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Seriously, if she wants to be with you she will. If she wants to be with someone else she will. Just be yourself and be confident. If you HAVE to know ask her to see the detailed phone bill. You won't get content but you will get volume and that should answer your questions.

Either way this is not a good situation....

Good Luck!

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Old 04-18-2008, 12:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Sith_Apprentice View Post
why dont you just ask her for her phone? if you can trust her she will give it to you, if not then you cant.
welcome to the forums by the way.
I did. I have full access to her phone other than when either of us is at work. It's the fact that the conversation was gone when she got home from work that is making me suspicious.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Dude, you've got more issues than she does. If you need proof to trust someone, you don't trust them. Cut your losses and stop trying to spy on her. If you can't believe her now, nothing will change that.

Plus, you really need to better censor your language here. This is a public forum and there are guidelines.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thatzmister2u View Post
Seriously, if she wants to be with you she will. If she wants to be with someone else she will. Just be yourself and be confident. If you HAVE to know ask her to see the detailed phone bill. You won't get content but you will get volume and that should answer your questions.

Either way this is not a good situation....

Good Luck!

E-
I know she wants to be with me. She asks me to propose every day. We've only been together for about 4 months and that is way too soon for me to commit to something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. Especially when there are trust issues.

The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just have a boyfriend or a husband and be happy with just that. They want to flirt or cheat when their man is not around.

Anyone able to answer my question? Thanks for the quick replies.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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In all fairness, if she is being shady, he has the right to have his suspicions. I was once in a similar situation, My ex was texting a good friend of mine a lot. I trusted her and him, never questioned either of them about it. Long story short, (hence the word ex) she is now with him. I hope things work out better for you. This situation is not good anyway you look at it. Welcome to the forums and best of luck.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by CO_BBTechie View Post
Dude, you've got more issues than she does. If you need proof to trust someone, you don't trust them. Cut your losses and stop trying to spy on her. If you can't believe her now, nothing will change that.

Plus, you really need to better censor your language here. This is a public forum and there are guidelines.
I don't deny I've got issues. I don't fully trust anyone. But the fact is we're a perfectly fine couple otherwise and we're staying together unless I find proof she is lying to me. She wants me to trust her and this is how that is going to happen.

Now can anyone answer my original question?
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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i dont think you will find any way to copy her messages without her authorization. Not even sure that is legal without her knowledge.

Last edited by Sith_Apprentice : 04-18-2008 at 12:15 PM.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Fair enough... the email issue is easy. You can setup a BCC forward to your email address from her account. Obviously she would have to assist unless she gave you her email password.

I am not aware of a method to CC someone else when an SMS message arrives on her device.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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To answer your question, I don't believe it is possible to forward her call logs or SMS messages to your email or phone. I have never heard of any application that will do this.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:15 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsconyers View Post
In all fairness, if she is being shady, he has the right to have his suspicions. I was once in a similar situation, My ex was texting a good friend of mine a lot. I trusted her and him, never questioned either of them about it. Long story short, (hence the word ex) she is now with him. I hope things work out better for you. This situation is not good anyway you look at it. Welcome to the forums and best of luck.
Exactly. It's when you become complacent that they will take advantage of your trust and betray you. These days everyone does their cheating over their phones or the internet. I'm trying to prevent that from being an option.

Thanks everyone for your kind words.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:16 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsconyers View Post
In all fairness, if she is being shady, he has the right to have his suspicions. I was once in a similar situation, My ex was texting a good friend of mine a lot. I trusted her and him, never questioned either of them about it. Long story short, (hence the word ex) she is now with him. I hope things work out better for you. This situation is not good anyway you look at it. Welcome to the forums and best of luck.
I'm sure that will help him being less paranoid
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:17 PM   #16 (permalink)
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there is no way to retrieve deleted text messages.

If you are suspicious, your instincts are usually right or you are projecting! Either way, not a good situation.

Good luck
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natrix View Post
I know she wants to be with me. She asks me to propose every day. We've only been together for about 4 months and that is way too soon for me to commit to something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. Especially when there are trust issues.

The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just have a boyfriend or a husband and be happy with just that. They want to flirt or cheat when their man is not around.

Anyone able to answer my question? Thanks for the quick replies.

Go gay and rid urself of the female darkside
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:19 PM   #18 (permalink)
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the question has been asked and answered. unless someone has new information pertaining to this, this thread should be let to die where it belongs.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:19 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I'm sure that will help him being less paranoid
Point taken. Probably won't help any paranoia. But everything everything happens for a reason right? In my case, this was for the better. Each situation is different. His relationship is 4 months. Mine was much much longer.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:20 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Apprentice View Post
i dont think you will find any way to copy her messages without her authorization. Not even sure that is legal without her knowledge.
She would give me the original authorization to do that because she wants me to trust her. If it had to be authorized each time it was sent then that would defeat the purpose because she would be able to filter what she didn't want me to see. I'm not trying to spy on her because that would imply she doesn't know about it. I just want her to know that she can't keep secrets from me.

Thanks for the replies everyone.
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