If one of my bbm friends is out of the USA and we still use messenger is it free?

yes. afterall, you're still in the same country.

One comment, BBM although it does go via RIM servers, some carriers still count it as data usage and charge or count it as normal data usage. Also if your in two different countries the other user may see roaming charges.
It's best to check with the carrier.

I think the OP said his buddy was out of the country.

The data will be charged based upon where YOU (and your BlackBerry are) not where the OTHER PERSON is.

Yes, that is correct, some providers charge BBM messages as part of data plan and are not included in the plan by itself. check with provider. i was traveling abroad and was slapped with a huge bill because I was sending too much BBM msgs

thanks you guys..... I figured I would not have a charge but my friend is in the Mid-East and we realized we could bbm.....then we thought... uh ohhh.... is this going to cost 'him'?

Guess my best bet is to check with Verizon. Ughhh.... hate having to call them.

You do NOT need to call Verizon. The answers given in this thread are correct.

i im from portugal and bbmsgr is free.
u just have to pay the bis monthly ( i pay 10euro, its around 17 usd ) just to have bis