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Old 03-19-2007, 05:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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You can read my sad, sad story here. It's completely true. Or you can even go to my blog to see the pics at Blogger.com and Go to the "According To Monti" blog. accordingtomonti.blogspot.com

Cingular didn't and still doesn't offer a warranty on my BlackBerry model, so i need help replacing it.

About one half-hour ago (around 3:00am) I received a phone call on my home phone. Usually, like many human beings on a Sunday night/Monday morning in the EST zone I'm sound asleep. So, when my phone rings at this time of night I find I have a tendency to do the following things: 1. think I'm dreaming 2. answer the phone out of shear curiosity 3. realize I'm not dreaming and experience a range of emotions (Confusion-"Who or what the hell is making a phone call at this time of night?", Fear - "Oh my G-d! No one calls at this time of night. What could be wrong?", Anger - "There had better me a damn good reason for calling at this hour!", etc.).

On with the story.

The phone number that showed up on the incoming call screen was MY cellphone number. So, naturally, transitioning from #1 to #2 took a bit longer because how the hell could I be calling myself, in my sleep, from my cellphone which I don't seem to have in my hands no less.

I finally make the transition to #2 and come to grips with the fact that it IS my cell number on my home phone screen and answer with a normally polite (yet exhausted because I've just been woken up at 3am) "Hello?" No one answers on the other end. All I hear is a rustling noise. I ask again, "Hello?" Still no answer and I continue to hear the rustling noise.

I then make the transition to #3 and freak out a bit for a few heartbeats.

I immediately look over to my side and see that my cellphone ISN'T where it normally is when I go to sleep for the night. In a split second my mind comes up with the scenario that I must have lost my cellphone tonight and someone found it and is calling the number on the lock-screen (I have a BlackBerry) that reads "If found please call XXX-XXX-XXXX for reward." BUT why won't they answer their own phone call to me? AND, it seems even scarier because he/she has gotten passed my lock-screen is able to make the phone call from my cellphone.

This is where the tendency to transition to a #4 doesn't happen very often to people.

You find this in your bed in this condition:
See Attachment 1

and realize you also own this:
See Attachment 2

...oh the range of emotions you go through. All the way the to a sensation of pure anger accompanied with a vision of seeing your own dog flying out the window of your 7th floor apartment (courtesy of you). That is until you realize the "funny" of it all. How the hell did a dog actually manage to get passed a BlackBerry lock-screen AND THEN make a phone call to her home? Plus, one of the attributes a BlackBerry is known for is it's thumbwheel control mechanism. Does your dog have a thumb? Apparently mine does and won't tell me where she keeps it.

But that's ALSO when I say to myself "Duh! She doesn't know it's a BlackBerry 8700c. It's my fault for not putting a sticky note on it to remind her." LOLOLOLOLOL.

Then you give her a kiss on her kepe, realize how much you love her and are reminded of how trivial we get about material shit that can be replaced and our "Chloe's" that cannot. After all, without her, there wouldn't be tonight's story for me to talk and laugh about.

And, boys and girls, there are two morals to this story as well:
"It's only a flesh wound" and "don't walk where you're not supposed to walk because there may not be someone with superhuman strength to save your little ass. And don't do drugs."

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what two movie's these quotes come from.
Attached Thumbnails
Does Someone Have A Heart?-eaten-away.jpg  Does Someone Have A Heart?-what-punim.jpg  

Last edited by monti91 : 03-19-2007 at 05:55 AM.
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Old 03-19-2007, 06:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 03-19-2007, 07:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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attachment 1 is quite a disturbing image. That little pooch did exactly what my chic has wanted to do for years!!!!!
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Old 03-19-2007, 10:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
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BB doesn't look good but you gotta love that sweet face. He probably did it because he feels neglected..........true story. My 100lb black lab swallowed my wedding ring! We spent all our time together over the next few days until he deposited it! Look at the bright side, At least you aren't going around behind your dog sticking a fork in his poop until you find your ring!
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Old 03-19-2007, 11:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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you are a crackhead
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