Goodbye

[SanFrancisco]

I enjoyed this Forum while it lasted [for me]. I especially enjoyed detailed discussion about all aspects of the Pearl, from getting something to work to accessorizing it.

What I did NOT like are the mean-spirited posts by some members and that they apparently can get away with it.

I don't get it. We are all on here voluntarily, meaning that we come here by choice. We don't get paid for our efforts, nor do Members have to pay to belong. These facts in mind, why do some Members feel it is OK to spit on other Members with caustic comments, ridicule and mean-spirited posts?

I have spent a lot of time on these boards because I am able to. In return for what I feel are helpful posts, Members have called me: old, a loser, dumb, stupid, and wasteful.

Until recently my job demanded 24/7 commitment; I worked in the federal legal system. I am getting out of the business because I had no personal life. Life was in fact passing me by. So, in winding down I have been on light duty and using some hard-earned vacation. Hence my ability to spend time on fun things, like the Internet, and until recently, BB Forums

Being a federal litigator, it is not in my nature to take insults laying down so it has been more and more difficult to turn the other cheek and not get into it with those Members who have been snide and/or condescending on this Forum.

Given the above the environment on BB Forums I can 1) ignore the insults [hard for me to do]; 2) dish it right back [that's immature and detracts from BBForums' raison d’être]; or 3) just leave [aka take my ball and go home].

I am choosing door number three because BB Forums is no longer fun or interesting. Simply put, I don't like logging on and wondering if someone has posted a snide or rude remark about one of my posts or attacked me personally.

It's too much to expect anything to happen to the rude Members. Fact is, they will always be lurking in the background, ready to slap someone in between their gulps of beer and spitting tobacco juice.

In a way this is a blessing in disguise because I have been spending too much time on BB Forums, albeit the Net will be where I launch my new business venture, so it's not that weird that I am at a PC much of a 24 hour day.

Well, on to other things. To any of you reading this, thanks. The ironic thing is that the people who should be reading this probably won't.

[diginixy]

I hate to see a valued member of the community go. Nearly 600 posts of useful info and all the mod can say is "please don't double post" as a farewell. You have helped me here at BBF and for that I thank you. I wish you good luck in your future endeavors and your newly found social life

[pdutta2000]

I think you're over-reacting. The internet is full of people who can and do say things because they'd never have the balls to say them to your face...so you see many more "You're a moron!!" or "You don't know S&#T!!" comments than you would ever see in an in-person group. That being said...without the internet a group like this, with the information exchange and global reach would be impossible. Bottom line..you take the good with the bad (no Facts of Life pun intended). Most message boards allow you to block certain usernames so it's as if they don't exist. This one should be no different. Turn that feature on and block the people you don't want to see. The price of admission means you're going to have to put up with some garbage in order to get the value.

Originally Posted by diginixy

I hate to see a valued member of the community go. Nearly 600 posts of useful info and all the mod can say is "please don't double post" as a farewell. You have helped me here at BBF and for that I thank you. I wish you good luck in your future endeavors and your newly found social life

Awww.... though I agree with you, mods are here to implement rules and that's one of the rules -- sad to say.

Though it is sad to see a member go especially if he or she has so much to give, this is all we can do -- just be sad.

SanFrancisco - I once did left. There was that one time that I got offended by somebody here and thought that it was mean and stupid. But you know what? Now? I don't even remember it because it really didn't matter. Sometimes, our feelings get hurt and we get offended by other members or people outside this forum, but that is what life is. You can't plesae everybody's and not everybody going to like what you have to share. They might find it funny, stupid or just be plain numb about it. But you know what? Just be yourself and ignore the rude remarks. It doesn't belittle you and you should not let it.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't buy branded clothes, nice expensive cars, designers clothes and anything expensive. Because to me, people who buy those, are there to please people who they don't like and probably hate. My point is, be yourself and be the best you can be to help other members in the forum. If somebody will make a rude comment, let it be. Read it once, ignore it and move to the next thread.

Good luck!

[snowskier79]

Originally Posted by chinesecatt

Awww.... though I agree with you, mods are here to implement rules and that's one of the rules -- sad to say. . .

My point is, be yourself and be the best you can be to help other members in the forum. If somebody will make a rude comment, let it be. Read it once, ignore it and move to the next thread.

Good luck!

Very true, great quote ccatt! That is about all I strive to do here.

Couldn't agree more on the double post, rules are rules.

[Pizzle]

Negativity towards other members isn't largely tolerated amongst the team of mods. I don't recall seeing the posts that you describe, and it's possible that others haven't either.

I, for one, don't frequent the Pearl forum like others do, but there are tools in place to help you with these problems.

For example, the "report bad post" button (exclaimation point at the bottom of each post). That sends a PM to all the mods. Many times, we don't even SEE the issue at hand. I don't recall ever seeing these PMs regarding your complaints.

Another option would be to PM mods directly.

We can't see every problem, have lives of our own, and have a tough time overseeing every little detail.

I'm sorry you feel slighted, but unless someone brings it to our attention, we can't know to do anything about it unless we happen upon it ourselves.

As stated above, it is, afterall, the internet. You need to have a thick skin to participate in it, thanks to the anonymity these Forums provide. If you can't take it, you're right...you should probably look elsewhere. Many take themselves too seriously in a place like this, and need to remember how unimportant a post on the internet is in the grand scheme of things.

I'm also disappointed that your parting shot to "rude members" is as equally stereotypical and degenerate as the terms you've suggested are causing you to leave. Way to be mature about it.

If you want to see what real flaming is, try being a mod for a while...

All that said, I'm sorry to see you go. Should you ever decide to return, I'm sure you'll be welcomed with open arms.

[coreyg510]

Sad to see anyone go. Anyhow, these rules were created in hopes that we can curb what is happening here at the forums. Hopefully you will think otherwise and decide to stay:


http://www.blackberryforums.com/gene...uncements.html

[flash24]

rude members are just pathetic... have a good one bud!

[phjnky]

Here's a thought...

If it's not healthy for you to hang at a site - you should leave. If you feel worse about yourself after participating at a site - you should leave. It's just not worth the aggravation. At the end of the day, your mental health is more important than any site.

I don't post nearly as much anymore and I'm much happier that way.

If your returning to check for some rude nasty remark, you're doing it wrong.. forget about it, then you'll enjoy the site more.

fwiw.. I haven't been here long but enjoy reading your posts. Take a break then come back if you feel up to it... or not.

[Lex Luthor]

Sorry to see you go. I actually liked reading your posts... and it's unfortunate that you found your BlackBerry Forums experience to be not so great. All forums will have people that aren't mature but then again all forums also have those who contribute and are valuable. Then there's the n00b factor but that's another story on it's own

All in all you've helped me a couple times with the info you posted so for that I say thanks. Hopefully you'll make your way back here... I've checked out some of the other forums for BlackBerry and I've found this one to be the best one. People here are very helpful, knowledgable & it's a well rounded bunch.

if you do come back don't let frustration or posts from others get you down. In the end we're all here to learn, share info and most of all have fun. It's natural that something may offend you or hurt your feelings but it's best to just let it be and move on. I'm sure there are many people on here who have had an experience similiar to yours and they're still here. I hope you stick around and if not then make your way back sometime. Best of luck to ya regardless of what you choose to do.

[jibi]

As mentioned by Pizzle, just PM or report the offensive people to us. Obviously I (or the others) don't ready every post in every thread. I typically skim over posts more than a few words unless it's in the BES Admin or Off-Topic forums (or if I'm just really bored). Just PM us or report a post and we'll address the offending person (or atleast talk to you). Some people report rather silly stuff, but there are some legit complaints that have been addressed rather swiftly (although not always publically).

[dc/dc]

[the goat]Have good moshpitting![/the goat]

[SanFrancisco]

Thanks for the comments guys. I guess I did not make myself clear, such is the way of the rant.

I am not disciplined enough to just ignore people when they hurl insults and snide remarks. As a prosecutor in high stakes litigation it's not in my nature to just look the other way when challenged or insulted. I realize my limitations in this regard, so rather than ruin everyone else's experience on BB Forums, it's best I just move on rather than get into "fist fights" on what is supposed to be a fun place to hang out.

Secondly, it makes no sense to hang around a hostile environment. Yes, all Forums have trailer trash mental slobs lurking about and I realize that some Site owners and mods can't police the boards or discipline members, especially since there are differing opinions on what constitutes proper behavior or violation of the rules.

For example, as pointed out in here, on my post in here and in the 8100 section, one Mod simply said "don't double post." Some people might think that was a curt response, while others will opine that rules are rules and I broke the rules, so a public warning was in order.

Anyway, as we say in the law, I have no standing to complain or expect anything from BB Forums. I'm sure there are many members who support those members who have called me a fudge packing gay or old man who just likes to tell stories. [I dunno, but I don't think I look that old in my MySpace picture].

In any event, maybe I'm not cut out to be a participant in these types of forums. To be sure, posting apparently invites attacks every once in awhile. So guess I can just lurk to catch up on events rather than post "how to" or answer pleas for help.

Thanks again for the remarks and comments.

[Rolls Royce 1]

Hey SF,
This is my first post here. But just so you know you are right. I am the same way. It's hard to let bullies and morons mouth off when you are trying to make a valid point.
Unfortunaltly this happens on all boards. People have nothing better to do then to be contary and build their post counts. Do what I do. Come for the information, come for people you like. Screw the jerks. put them in there place or report them, nothing shuts them up like repoting them to the mods for abuse!

[secrecyguy]

Sorry to see you go San Francisco. Forums can sometimes can be mean to you but you just have to live with it. That goes with any forums.

I just want to say thank you to you for all the helpful posts you made. I think most of us will miss you.

[LunkHead]

Sorry to see you go SF...

Try sticking it out and report the posts to the mods. I have reported at least one of the RUDE comments you recieved... Don't know what happened with it but I am sure it was dealt with by the mods...

EDIT: AND I know exactly what you mean SF... I recently was bombarded by some dude via PM where he was calling me a PIG because of my job... I got like 9 or 10 PM's from this dude... I did not report them because I get called far worse everyday that I go to work

[dwc]

SF,
You are a bit sensitive. You must understand that if you post a lot of personal information (e.g. threads about how a BB with a fire vid got you laid) you may be providing a bit more information than some folks want to see.

I also saw you make a snide retort about Jersey, as if the location of the poster had anything to do with his position on the topic.

I understand your desire to leave, and I think you should - temporarily. I think you may have been spending a little too much quality time here, getting a little too personally invested in the forum, putting a little too much of "yourself" into your posts. Take a little internet vacation and go join a soccer league or something. Then when you come back to check the forums you won't have so much personally invested in your standing here. You'll care less if people flame you a bit.

I do appreciate the great photos you take, but some of your posts are quirky. I hope you will rethink the permanence of your decision and come back to continue posting useful information.

[aawong]

I would just like to say San fran you are been great very useful posts! It would be a big loss if you left. Just wanted to say thanks for the great posts that you have made and hopefully there will be more to come!!

[jibi]

Originally Posted by LunkHead

Don't know what happened with it but I am sure it was dealt with by the mods...

Just FYI, the member in question was banned by me, but as I said earlier, a lot of things are done behind the scenes and quietly. I left the posts as they were (you and SF both quoted the original poster), as I believe SF handled his reply quite adequately.

Needless to say, looking back through some of the threads, I do appreciate members like SF on these forums. Having someone around lending a helpful hand out of the kindness of their heart is more than we ask for from our members.

[Dawg]

Bye

[majorxp]

The beginning of the end of a forum board is when the smack talkers encourage the contributors to leave.

Trollers win when you take things personally. You can't. Report them and move on. Request their post be deleted. Don't respond at all. They are trolling and love when you give them attention - they feed on it. If they have an audience and people respond to them, they are happy (usually because nobody listens to them in real life).


That said..

As a member and moderator of various forums on various topics - the complaints you have are pretty much the same everywhere. The only exception are forums that are heavily moderated or frequently give 'vacations' to folks who break the rules.

Friendly jibe -

Originally Posted by SanFrancisco

The ironic thing is that the people who should be reading this probably won't.

That's not really ironic.


Good luck to you and take care. Maybe in a month or two, you will come back and continue to contribute.

/cheers

[Pizzle]

Originally Posted by jibi

Needless to say, looking back through some of the threads, I do appreciate members like SF on these forums. Having someone around lending a helpful hand out of the kindness of their heart is more than we ask for from our members.

<----Yes.

[mayor111]

SanFran - I’m sorry to see you have to leave these boards. I have not only received allot of good information here, but have also given allot of good information here - which I am certain you have too. It’s a shame when people have to POST how they feel on a "technical" forum.

For example - just because I like or dislike the new PEARL doesn’t give anyone the right to make it open season on my opinion. If you disagree or agree - I’m fine with that - but you don’t have to post slander about my opinion. Shame on the "children" that feel they have to post such immaturities.

As for the Mod "MrKyoo" who posted the rude comment on this post: http://www.blackberryforums.com/gene...e-members.html - personally I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Your comment was unnecessarily cold and completely uncalled for. When someone with 600 posts is explaining a MAJOR issue with the boards - do you really think he needed to be reminded about double posting? I’m the last guy to EVER post anything negative towards a MOD (you guys do a great job here) but the WAY you delivered your post is the EXACT reason this gentlemen is leaving the boards.

I wish you all the best SanFran...

[JMMARICH]

Dang man. You are actually one of the people I enjoyed talking with on this board.

Hit my PIN up sometime on BBMessenger. You seemed like a cool dude for sure.

--Josh

[donthateme13]

Originally Posted by mayor111

SanFran - I’m sorry to see you have to leave these boards. I have not only received allot of good information here, but have also given allot of good information here - which I am certain you have too. It’s a shame when people have to POST how they feel on a "technical" forum.

For example - just because I like or dislike the new PEARL doesn’t give anyone the right to make it open season on my opinion. If you disagree or agree - I’m fine with that - but you don’t have to post slander about my opinion. Shame on the "children" that feel they have to post such immaturities.

As for the Mod "MrKyoo" who posted the rude comment on this post: http://www.blackberryforums.com/gene...e-members.html - personally I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Your comment was unnecessarily cold and completely uncalled for. When someone with 600 posts is explaining a MAJOR issue with the boards - do you really think he needed to be reminded about double posting? I’m the last guy to EVER post anything negative towards a MOD (you guys do a great job here) but the WAY you delivered your post is the EXACT reason this gentlemen is leaving the boards.

I wish you all the best SanFran...

Cold would have been "dont double post" kyoo said PLEASE dont double post. In my opinion thats a cry for attention there was no reason to post in two separate sections unless you want to make sure everyone sees your thread.

As far as SF goes if you ask me you're over reacting its the internet i dont care how hard it is for you to let things go if your going back and checking threads to see what has been said about you, you have a problem and maybe public forums are'nt for you. Anyone who is a member of any other forum will agree that this forum has very little thread crapping and very little flaming. So as the saying goes if you cant take the heat get out the kitchen. I agree you offered good advice and its always bad to have a member leave on such a sour note but good luck to ya

[LunkHead]

600 posts in 2 months is a bit much and maybe SF justs needs a break.... I usually only post answers to questions and move along if it's already been answered plus I have this sick quest to look for unanswered posts and dig them up from the archives

Take you a little break SF... Ignore the trolls and people having a bad day, then come on back and continue helping others

[koleary19067]

Sorry to hear of you leaving. Hope you come back at some point.

[bertiebassett]

SanFran

Sorry to see you go..particularly if you're being flamed...but there's a few points I'd like to raise that are relevant...

1) Differences in cultural backgrounds - in the uk there's a tradition of banter or "piss-taking" - i.e. making sarcastic fun of people whether friends or work colleagues. This also extends to forums, and one of the sporting forums I use (very uk based) has lots of this..but generally it's all good natured and we even get together every month to settle some of the banter over a beer.

I'm not sure whether this happened here (I haven't read many of the posts), but one mans banter is another man's slander. If you're exposing private personal details in a technology forum then you open yourself up for more banter than someone that doesn't.


2) There seem to be a lot more newbs around..I'm relatively new myself but either I know more about BB's now, or the average user knows less. I guess this has been driven by RIM making the pearl more of a consumer entity and lowering the barriers to entry on the BES side.

As someone that actively follows the admin forum, i'm getting a little frustrated about newbs that ask Q's that can readily be found with a bit of effort (e.g. blackberry.com site or product documentation) and I've found myself having to hold back from a quick RTFM or other similar sarcastic question.

Let's remember that not everyone on this forum is from the USA and that not everyone has the same high personal standards as others might...but as don't hateme13 says you take the rough with the smooth...

[Dawg]

Originally Posted by bertiebassett

SanFran

Sorry to see you go..particularly if you're being flamed...but there's a few points I'd like to raise that are relevant...

1) Differences in cultural backgrounds - in the uk there's a tradition of banter or "piss-taking" - i.e. making sarcastic fun of people whether friends or work colleagues. This also extends to forums, and one of the sporting forums I use (very uk based) has lots of this..but generally it's all good natured and we even get together every month to settle some of the banter over a beer.

I'm not sure whether this happened here (I haven't read many of the posts), but one mans banter is another man's slander. If you're exposing private personal details in a technology forum then you open yourself up for more banter than someone that doesn't.


2) There seem to be a lot more newbs around..I'm relatively new myself but either I know more about BB's now, or the average user knows less. I guess this has been driven by RIM making the pearl more of a consumer entity and lowering the barriers to entry on the BES side.

As someone that actively follows the admin forum, i'm getting a little frustrated about newbs that ask Q's that can readily be found with a bit of effort (e.g. blackberry.com site or product documentation) and I've found myself having to hold back from a quick RTFM or other similar sarcastic question.

Let's remember that not everyone on this forum is from the USA and that not everyone has the same high personal standards as others might...but as don't hateme13 says you take the rough with the smooth...

Very nicely put

[TheBigNewt]

I liked SF's posts. The photos were helpful. The link to the manual was great. He posted a lot but so what? Most of the info helped me, and helped the decision along to my buying a Pearl last week. Flames break out on any forum. Personally I find them mildly entertaining, but understand that some take it personally at times, and want to get away from it. I've joined sporting team forums just to try an incite members a little and diss their teams' players just for laughs. Maybe SF will come back and help us in the future...

[Liv]

Sorry to see you go SF...

When I first started coming here it took me a while to get used to the dynamics of the forum. I got upset when someone called me a "Newb" and insulted me. The turning point for me is when I responded to a thread and when I relooked at the post it came off a little harsh. Made me realize that tone gets lost in the "typing translation". Which is exactly why I am so "smiley happy"

Now I understand you have been dealt some really unnessicary and harsh statements, and I am sincerely sorry you had to deal with that. That was stuff you should not have had to dealt with.

I left a domain community in the past because they constantly would not leave me be, pretty much said because I was a woman I needed to shut up because I don't understand as much as the men did. I left there and I have never looked back.

I have had to leave this forum due to numerous reasons in the past, but I always find myself coming back. I hope either way you end up content with your decision. I do hope you come back, but either way, I wish you the best.

[Stinsonddog]

Interesting thread - lots of truth. I guess life has choices. If I get harrassed I kinda just tell folks get in line with my kids, you don't own that market. It's all a matter of expectations - different standards - so all I can really say is thanks for the contributions, and since I am pretty sure you are reading these, please come back some time.

Written from SF - Embarcadero area

[Soapm]

Thin skin + public forum = bad mix (my $00.02)

[juwaack68]

As some have already said, the internet brings out the worst in some people because they can hide behind their computers. Most likely they wouldn't say the things they say if they were standing in front of the other person. There are, unfortunately, people who post here who think they "r, like, so kewl by knot typin in english", and some who feel they need to tell everyone else to P*$$ off. FORTUNATELY, there are also many more great people who are very helpful and know how to type with grown up words.

I appreciate, but don't envy the mods. They are volunteers who get beat on if they dare correct someone. Forgive me, but 'Please don't double post' is NOT rude, it's simply a reminder of the rules of the forum. When I use the Search function, the LAST thing I need is to see 2 or 3 posts with the same title by the same person. This is a complete waste of time while I'm trying to find an answer.

While I hate to see anyone feel like they need to leave, this forum is a lot like the TV. If I don't like what I see, I turn the channel.

[SanFrancisco]

Many thanks, again, for the comments, suggestions, and even the criticisms.

I am definitely not one to think that my way is the best way to handle this. To be sure there are as many ways to deal with the frictions and controversies that occur on the Net as there are people with access to it.

If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it's that one can never stop learning about one's self and life in general. To me the criticisms contained in these posts are more valuable than words of support.

[dc/dc]

[hijack]have a cold beer. I recommend "Old Speckled Hen"[/hijack]

[AlwaysOn607]

SF, so sorry to see you go. I have learned a great deal from your posts. I hope you will come back. Everything else I would say has been said here in the previous posts. You will be missed.

[jibi]

Originally Posted by mayor111

As for the Mod "MrKyoo" who posted the rude comment on this post: http://www.blackberryforums.com/gene...e-members.html - personally I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Your comment was unnecessarily cold and completely uncalled for.

While I'm big on defending our users from trolls, MrKyoo was not being mean-spirited in doing what he did. The post was a double post, it was made in two separate forums for the sake of gaining attention. While I can understand doing this with a big TECHNICAL announcement (such as a post about a new OS release in the RIM Software and BlackBerry <series> forums), I cannot understand this for a personalized post and the rules of these forums SHOULD apply to it.

Originally Posted by mayor111

When someone with 600 posts is explaining a MAJOR issue with the boards - do you really think he needed to be reminded about double posting? I’m the last guy to EVER post anything negative towards a MOD (you guys do a great job here) but the WAY you delivered your post is the EXACT reason this gentlemen is leaving the boards.

...and not a single one of the reasons he left these forums was reported to us by himself, either in PM or the reporting function. MrKyoo did the right thing when he closed it, giving it a public explanation as to why it was closed and even linked it to this thread. He's really a bad person, honestly. *shakes head*

PS - I can sit here and explain a lot of major issues with this forum with the backing of my 7,300 posts, but without the help of our users, there's not much we can do when it concerns trolls. Trust me, no one is 'above the law' when it comes to these forums and their attitudes. If one of the mods wants to 'protect' someone, there are 5+ other mods who are not reluctant to press the buttons. We have a good system, so if you really want the MAJOR issues to go away, use the reporting tools in place to address those users and issues. If you want to privately send me a PM and let me know your concerns and thoughts, then I'll be more than happy to read them - and that goes for anyone (typically, there are only a few types PMs I don't read and respond to, such as this one really hot girl who was trying to solicit my 'services' for a night for a cost).

[LunkHead]

Originally Posted by jibi

While I'm big on defending our users from trolls, MrKyoo was not being mean-spirited in doing what he did. The post was a double post, it was made in two separate forums for the sake of gaining attention. While I can understand doing this with a big TECHNICAL announcement (such as a post about a new OS release in the RIM Software and BlackBerry <series> forums), I cannot understand this for a personalized post and the rules of these forums SHOULD apply to it.

...and not a single one of the reasons he left these forums was reported to us by himself, either in PM or the reporting function. MrKyoo did the right thing when he closed it, giving it a public explanation as to why it was closed and even linked it to this thread. He's really a bad person, honestly. *shakes head*

Well i'd have to agree with jibi.... Someone (and I enjoyed SF posts, so this is NOT a slam on him) with over 600 posts *should* know the forum rules and the whole double post thing... I don't think MrKyoo did anything wrong, he was not rude, and simply did what a mod is here to do.... That's my half-a-shekel (Israeli moola) on it

[LunkHead]

Originally Posted by jibi

such as this one really hot girl who was trying to solicit my 'services.

Ummmm..... 'waives hand in the air' Any chance of forwarding that to me????? LOL Just kidding but I could NOT resist