we had this issue for a long long time, we were on exch 5.5, then moved on to exch 2003 .
Bes is 4.1 sp4. We had RIM look at this and after several weeks, several conference calls later, bes logs increased to 15, something was spotted in the logs
What it was it that users on the bes had delegates, the delegates were receiving a copy of the meeting request and deleting it.
So when the blackberry users accepted it on the berry is red x'ed. Accepting it on outlook was always ok
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