1. This is a carrier thing and you cannot get it disabled. I get it with Sprint and it's a pain in the butt. Unfortunately it's something we have to live with until Verizon/Sprint changes their system.
2. Social Scope gets high marks from users. BBTweet, TinyTweet, and TweetCaster are also contenders. Additionally, Tweeteev is getting talked about but it's not out yet. The Aftermarket Software forum has lots of info on clients. I'm not a Twitter user myself.
3. The Tour is still too new to have many themes out. There are a few in the Media Center forum, but none I really like.
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