Similar to Lurch's post, I see from all this info that it looks very much to be an Exch connection prob. Using perfmon on the Exch boxes is a really good idea but a general watch on your Exch boxes to see what they are doing, when is what it will take (unless you have some cool monitoring tools!).
IMHO, the only real way to troubleshoot dodgy exch boxes is to sit and watch them for a few hours and get a feel for what they are doing. You are going to have to go back to troubleshooting basics and sit and watch all cpu, memory and network traffic on the boxes for a while. It will be tedious but I am convinced you will find the prob. You probably know about this already but
Process Monitor is top for this stuff.