Try uninstalling the Desktop Manager Software and reinstalling it (but be sure to restart after uninstall) Also, when you do install the desktop manager make sure you install the software first THEN plug the phone up to the computer. And it should go through all the processes when you connect it (eg: your computer has found new software ect, and it should come up in little yellow balloons beside the clock in the lower right hand corner on the screen on the computer, then finally it should say your new hardware is set up and ready to use or something to that effect, try that and let us know what is happening.) Also make sure when you reinstall it and connect make sure its set to read off the USB port, to do this simply click Options (on the blackberry desktop manager) Click Connection Settings, and beside Connection there is a drop down box with options there make sure its set to USB, and not COM3. then restart the Desktop Manager for a fresh restart. This should help.
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